May 28, 2009

Rule 3

Thomas B. Marlow is back with perhaps his most controversial rule to date.

Rule 3: Temporal Limits on Pie Consumption, or When Not to Eat Certain Pies.

There is an undeniable link between certain times of the year and what pies are eligible to be eaten. Sometimes, as in the case of strawberry-based pies, the link is primarily agricultural. Fresh ripe strawberries are tops - if you can somehow manage to not eat them while you're making your pie, props to you. Other limits are based more on aesthetics rather than, you know, logic. Regardless of my motivations for determing the vagarities of Pie Law, Marlow's Laws are not to be debated.

There are several pieces of information that jump out from this primitive graphic. First, I think it's clear that under no circumstances is it ever okay to eat Banana Cream Pie. Gross. It would be much preferable to just eat a cream pie and a banana separately. Come on.
Pumpkin Pie is acceptable - even suggested - from October 1st until December 1st.

Apple Pie immediately before Pumpkin, Pecan immediately after...these are all logical.

Cherry Pie is to be eaten on a family vacation to Door County, Wisconsin in mid-August. Otherwise, pass.

Blueberries are gross, but I can almost understand eating them in a patriotic-themed pie around Independence Day. Maybe.

If you wanted to twist my arm, I could probably be convinced to make Pecan Pie a year-round item.

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