June 25, 2009

Baseball? Graphics? Yes please!

Over the last two to three days the circle of baseball blogs/writers I read have latched onto a very cool site full of baseball-related graphics...go check it out! I think my favorite image is the fantasy showdown between the Wu-Tang Clan and the E Street Band (I'd love to see Nils Lofgren start a double play), with the Mike Morgan history coming in second. Oh, Mike Morgan. The 1986 Mets graphic gives me an excuse to link to a Sesame Street special, guest-starring (among others) Keith Hernandez and Mookie Wilson.

June 23, 2009


After a morning full of mapmaking and then a lunchtime full of program-crashing (followed by a brief moment of forehead/desk interaction) I think I've solved the technical issues at hand. This, my readers, is cause for celebration!

Thomas B. Marlow undoubtedly will publish a set of rules pertaining to wedding/reception conduct - sneak peek: This song is acceptable ONLY when Muppets are involved.

June 19, 2009

Two Recaps and One Terrible Segue

A little bit delayed on the recaps, sure...but I've caught the Common Swift throat/nose bug (we're so sharing)...which put a crimp in my week's productivity. Also, I'm lazy.

Last Friday Eat at Joe's started the second half of our season with a record of 2-3. We won 7-4, bringing us to .500. Yay! It was a well-played game all around; much better than the first time we played the other team. I went 2-3 with a single, double, and two runs scored. The time I got out was on a hard-hit ground ball right to the pitcher. He fielded it cleanly but I was still only out by half a step. I felt out of sorts running to first on the hit - I think I was still shaken up by the previous inning's defensive escapade. The opposing pitcher hit a hard line drive to right center, where I was playing. I initially took a step to my right but when I saw the ball was slicing away from me, I sprinted back and to my left - diving for the ball at the last second. I missed...and hit the ground. It's disappointing, and resulted in a home run for the guy, but really - I don't want to play softball unless I can get grass stains on my shirt. I just wish I hadn't taken that first step to my right - I could've caught it otherwise. Still, we won, and there's a decent chance that we'll finish with a winning record on the year.

Eat at Joe's (3-3)
2/3 .667 .667 1.000 1.667 2 0 0
8/11 .727 .727 1.000 1.727 4 0 3

On Monday evening I played 4 player whiffleball - Joe and Kyle v. Brandon and Jeff. I pitched the first six or seven innings, giving up the pivotal tying run with ONE OUT TO GO IN THE GAME. PUKE. Brandon and I had a really nice start to the game offensively, but couldn't keep up the pace. On the mound, the Joe and Kyle seemed to make some adjustments midway through the second or third. Until then I had been throwing almost exclusively junk - crappy curves in on the hands and changeups low and away. After they started to hit that stuff I stole Carlos Marmol's delivery and started throwing hard sliders and fastballs. It worked...for a while. Another whiffleball game, another heart-wrenching loss, I suppose.

Anyway, as I was about to take the 'mound,' try to get Joe out, and win the game, I was thinking about how to celebrate/recap the victory. I was pretty sure that there was going to be a victory dance - if my time with the band has taught me anything, it is that I have "awesome" "dancing" "skills."
(I need to preemptively apologize, I think. Jody told me that she thinks I can do four consecutive posts with muppets in them, tops. So...the next two (at least) are going to have
hilarious muppet references.

If, by hilarious, you mean barely relevant.)

Well, are you ready for the King? Girls? Here we go!

June 17, 2009

Rule 15. In Which Gifts are Exchanged

Rule 15. Christmas Gift Protocol

Gifts are to be opened on Christmas morning, with two exceptions.

A. A family member has to work during the morning of Christmas Day. Ideally, the exchange process will then be pushed back to the afternoon.
B. Other conflicts preventing people from attending the exchange on Christmas morning. These will usually happen after families grow, causing scheduling festivities to become increasingly difficult. In this case, gift exchanges may be moved earlier or later than Christmas Day, but no more than two (2) weeks in either direction. Travel will inevitably throw wrinkles into holiday plans - note, however, that in these cases postponing the celebration is preferred to having it earlier. If travel teaches you anything, it should be patience.

Now, I know that there are many different cultural examples of gift exchanges - I think by law I have to be fascinated by the Potlatch...and I am a huge fan of the Fraggles' tradition of Passing It On (starts ~ 1:50):

As much as I'd love to keep talking about the various quirks of A Muppet Family Christmas...that would take until FOR. EV. ER. This will have to do for now.

June 14, 2009

Rule 16: Stairs

Rule 16: The proper number of stairs.

Flights of stairs usually contain between 8 and 16 steps - and the number does matter, incidentally. From best to worst:

9,11,13. They're all bad.

Two quick stories: The Comfort Suite in Green Bay is a pretty nice place to stay - except for their staircases. One staircase has two flights, each with 8 steps. Nice . EVERYWHERE ELSE it is 7 and 9! WHAT??!? JEEZ.

Working at the Wisconsin Historical Society Headquarters building is both good and bad - one of the best things about it is that the flights of stairs are all 16. It's gorgeous.


June 7, 2009


I saw the movie UP today.

I might have almost cried a little.



Normally it shouldn't be difficult to write a recap of a whiffleball game. This time, it's not coming easily. Joe and I played a game of whiffleball at Tenney Park on Saturday - here's how it went down.

To set the stage, I guess, let me describe how we play. Since we're "awesome" (that's how my coworkers described us, I'm pretty sure) we pretend we're Cubs/Brewers. That means that for some batters we have to switch and bat opposite of what we're used to. Joe was batting lefty as Prince and Mat Gamel. Because I'm a left-handed batter by nature, I reverse and bat right-handed for Cubs lefties. It makes sense to us. Anyway, I was batting backwards as Kosuke Fukudome and Mike Fontenot.
So. I was pitching as Ted Lilly again and Joe was Dave Bush. The game got off to a start as somewhat of a pitcher's duel - surprising us a little, as we had moved the 'mound' back to 40 feet. I was dealing from the start and struck out Joe several times with a low changeup/tailing fastball combo. Early in the game I was a threat at the plate as well - Joe was trying to keep his pitches low...turns out that's a bad idea against me. I hammered a triple as "Aramis Ramirez" (injuries don't exist in our make-believe world) and - get this - hit the first-ever home run in our whiffleball 'careers' as Mike Fontenot. To make that clear, the first home run that Joe or I ever hit in our current whiffleball situation was by me, batting righthanded. Crazy.
The game went along with only one ball lost in the brush behind home plate until we reached the top of the sixth inning. I had established a 29-26 lead behind some early offense and a strong outing by Ted Lilly. On comes Sean Marshall to close the game...not normally the closer, but nobody wants to see me throw righthanded.
What followed could only be described as horrific - and that would be a kind description. In the sixth inning Joe hit triples 3 of the first 4 at bats, hit a total of 6 triples in the inning, and put up 28 runs. 28. 2-8. He more than doubled his point total in the time it took me to get three more outs. It was awful. I was walking people, but it was mainly just Joe hitting every single thing I threw. I ended up losing 54-32. Just terrible.

At least there was no dog poop this time.