April 20, 2009

Mapping the Delicious

All right, kids - this is post 1.

My name is Jeff - I live in Madison, Wisconsin and am an archaeologist/musician (rockstarchaeologist). In my spare time, I enjoy reading, cooking, reading about cooking, and baseball (in particular the Cubs, but the game itself as an object of beauty). This blog will mainly cover these topics, plus any funny stories from projects I'm working on around WI.

As of now, there is one regular feature - Thomas B. Marlow's Guide to Holiday Traditions. This will be a series of rules to follow as you plan/celebrate holidays, as well as life in general. For example, Rule 1: The Proper Naming of Girl Scout Cookies.

Thin Mints - no debate here; the most popular species.
Caramel Delights - the first controversy. Currently, the Girl Scouts sell these cookies branded as either Caramel deLites or Samoas. Caramel deLites' flaw is the inane spelling of delight. However, this pales in comparison to the travesty that is the Samoa. Samoa is an island group and nation in the South Pacific with a rich culture and history - NOT A COOKIE. What's wrong with 'Caramel Delight?' It's properly spelled and perfectly descriptive. The cookies themselves (the best the Girl Scouts sell, by the way) are both caramelly AND delightful.
Peanut Butter Patties - also a good descriptive name of the cookies, as opposed to the incorrect branding of this species, Tagalong. There are two main problems with the 'Tagalong.' First, it is often mispronounced as Tagalog - the second largest ethnic group in the Phillipines and also a language native to that island group (Did a Girl Scout exec vacation in the Pacific right before going on a cookie naming binge? Seriously.) Secondly, Tagalong? What does that mean? The cookie will somehow sneak into your luggage as you go off on a trip? As far as I'm concerned, Tagalong is the name of the littlest bunny sister in the Disney film "Robin Hood"... which is probably an entirely different post topic altogether.
Peanut Butter Sandwich - also referred to as the 'Do-Si-Do'. Why? If I remember correctly from 8th grade gym class, the Do-Si-Do is a square dancing move...which has no connection at all to cookies.
Shortbread/Trefoils - These shortbread cookies have the Girl Scout Trefoil design in them. Either name is acceptable.

There are more varieties of cookies, but really...who eats any of them besides the ones discussed above? They also seem to only have one name, eliminating much of the potential controversy.

Bonus Example: Rule 40: In Regards to the Eating and Reading of Fortune Cookies.
Fortune Cookies are to be broken apart and eaten before reading your fortune. Failure to comply by Rule 40 voids the fortune contained within said cookie.

In addition to these completely serious rules that you should make every attempt to follow, I can see a weekly recap of archaeological travails as a possible regular post, and probably a regular NL Central rundown. We shall see.

Wow...I wish I had some Caramel Delights right now :(

1 comment:

  1. You sure have a lot of rules and opinions about cookies. And they are called Samoas. I was a Girl Scout. I know these things.