The Twelve Days of Christmas, part III

(go read parts I and II!)

So by now, the total figurine count is up to: 8 trees, 14 turtledoves, 18 hens, 20 calling birds, 20 golden rings, 18 geese, 14 swans, and 8 maids. I will be finding little bits of clay in my room for the next several months, I am sure.

Just for a little scale, the figurines in today's post all are pretty much between one and one and a half inches tall.

Nine Ladies Dancing

The calling birds are cute, true, and the turtledoves are pretty nice as well, but...the ladies dancing are my favorite. I'm sort of proud of how they turned out. The one in the back left here seems to be really grooving.

Coincidentally, they seem to be tied with the geese for Dinah's favorite as well.

Ten Lords a-leaping

If the ladies dancing are my favorite, well...the lords leaping are my least favorite. They were very frustrating, and the one component of the gift I struggled with the most. Eventually they ended up looking like some guys in red walking around. This one has no left arm, but that's the cat's fault.

Eleven Pipers Piping

Here's a piper. If I had been less of a procrastinator, I would have tried to give them little painted belts and stripes down their pants. However, I was a bit cramped for time on this gift. If you're nitpicking, the flute or pipe or whatever is probably a little large, but - hey. Cut me some slack.

Twelve Drummers Drumming

Yup, they have different drums.

Here's a sad story about the drummers - they were created the second night I was working on this project, and I had dreams about painting the UW marching band uniforms on them. However, at about 3:30 in the morning I pulled them out of the oven, where they had gone in looking like this:

Hey, those legs look different, right?

Right. The black clay I originally used just melted in the oven. When I checked on the drummers, I found 12 sad drummers' torsos sitting in melted puddles of legs. I was too stunned/exhausted to do anything but climb upstairs to bed, heartbroken.

Finally, I just fashioned brown legs for them and glued the legs and torsos together. If they hadn't melted, the drummers might have won the title of "favorite figurine" from the dancing ladies...but alas.


So ends a too-long saga of a ridiculous Christmas gift. The entire collection of figurines fills a shoebox - here are some pictures of the last 3 days of figurines.

The Twelve Days of Christmas, part II

(continued from part I)

The first four days had seen me make four trees, six turtledoves, 6 hens, and 4 calling birds. Pretty reasonable, right? It starts to get a little crazy.

Five Golden Rings


This is what a pile of forty "golden" rings looks like. They were surprisingly difficult to make, and my hands were yellow at the end of the process.

Six Geese a-laying

Hey geese! The casual observer might mistake these guys for the turtledoves. The trained eye will spot the nest underneath the geese, a clear indicator that they are a-laying their eggs.

No, I did not make tiny clay eggs.

Yes, I thought about it.

Seven Swans a-swimming

Okay, now hold on. I know what you're thinking - "Jeff, you idiot. Why are those 'swans' red? Swans aren't red."

True. Most swans I've ever met have been white, or grayish at worst. Nope. I ran out of white clay with 21 swans to form. Now, I didn't actually form the gifts exactly in order - I started with the rings, then the drummers, the trees, the birds, and finished with the people at the end. However, by the time I had gotten to swans, my brain was pretty much fizzling. I had no time to get back to a store and get white clay, and my attempt at painting the swans was pitiful. Didn't work.

Despite this, the gift was accepted.

Eight Maids a-milking


I could only get one of them to pose, and I apologize for the poor quality of the picture. This was the best of the bunch. The maids were probably the second-hardest to create after the lords a-leaping. I eventually decided that they would be sort of sitting on stools, with a silver-ish milk pail on their lap.

Up tomorrow: the thrilling finale!

The Twelve Days of Christmas, part I

Call me Andy Bernard, because one of the Christmas gifts I gave to Calli this year was a complete* clay set of the gifts of the twelve days of Christmas.

*Sort of. There ended up being two extra french hens, and one goose a-laying is missing in action. The goose is presumed to be dead at the paws of Dinah.

Because the gift ended up being a large undertaking, I'm going to break this up into a 3 part series of posts.
Before I begin recapping the individual gifts, let's try and settle a debate. In the twelve days of Christmas, does one give a partridge in a pear tree once, or 12 times? I say there are 12 partridges, making the total gifts break down like this:

1 partridge in a pear tree x 12 days = 12 gifts
2 turtledoves x 11 days = 22 turtledoves
3 french hens x 10 days = 30 hens
4 calling birds x 9 days = 36 calling birds
5 golden rings x 8 days = 40 rings
6 geese a-laying x 7 days = 42 geese
7 swans a-swimming x 6 days = 42 swans
8 maids a-milking x 5 days = 40 maids
9 ladies dancing x 4 days = 36 ladies
10 lords a-leaping x 3 days = 3o lords
11 pipers piping x 2 days = 22 pipers
12 drummers drumming x 1 day = 12 drummers

Calli says the gifts are given just once.

She's wrong.

Tonight: Days 1-4

Partridge in a Pear Tree


Basically, I combined a generic tree shape with a small little dab of gray clay to signify the presence of a partridge. You can see one in the top left corner of the photo above, sitting amid nests full of calling birds and a bunch of canoodling turtledoves.

Two Turtledoves


These cute little guys are turtledoves - you can tell because they have beaks!

Three French Hens

Although they aren't wearing berets or talking about baguettes, these hens are most definitely French.

Four Calling Birds


Wikipedia told me that there is some dispute as to whether the fourth day of Christmas highlights calling birds or colly birds, but honestly? They're 1 inch clay figurines. Even if I knew the difference, you probably wouldn't be able to tell. I'm not exactly sculpting at Michelangelo's talent level here.


Stay tuned for days 5-8...

Rule 15. In Which Gifts are Exchanged

Rule 15. Christmas Gift Protocol

Gifts are to be opened on Christmas morning, with two exceptions.

A. A family member has to work during the morning of Christmas Day. Ideally, the exchange process will then be pushed back to the afternoon.
B. Other conflicts preventing people from attending the exchange on Christmas morning. These will usually happen after families grow, causing scheduling festivities to become increasingly difficult. In this case, gift exchanges may be moved earlier or later than Christmas Day, but no more than two (2) weeks in either direction. Travel will inevitably throw wrinkles into holiday plans - note, however, that in these cases postponing the celebration is preferred to having it earlier. If travel teaches you anything, it should be patience.


Now, I know that there are many different cultural examples of gift exchanges - I think by law I have to be fascinated by the Potlatch...and I am a huge fan of the Fraggles' tradition of Passing It On (starts ~ 1:50):



As much as I'd love to keep talking about the various quirks of A Muppet Family Christmas...that would take until FOR. EV. ER. This will have to do for now.