Normally it shouldn't be difficult to write a recap of a whiffleball game. This time, it's not coming easily. Joe and I played a game of whiffleball at Tenney Park on Saturday - here's how it went down.
To set the stage, I guess, let me describe how we play. Since we're "awesome" (that's how my coworkers described us, I'm pretty sure) we pretend we're Cubs/Brewers. That means that for some batters we have to switch and bat opposite of what we're used to. Joe was batting lefty as Prince and Mat Gamel. Because I'm a left-handed batter by nature, I reverse and bat right-handed for Cubs lefties. It makes sense to us. Anyway, I was batting backwards as Kosuke Fukudome and Mike Fontenot.
So. I was pitching as Ted Lilly again and Joe was Dave Bush. The game got off to a start as somewhat of a pitcher's duel - surprising us a little, as we had moved the 'mound' back to 40 feet. I was dealing from the start and struck out Joe several times with a low changeup/tailing fastball combo. Early in the game I was a threat at the plate as well - Joe was trying to keep his pitches low...turns out that's a bad idea against me. I hammered a triple as "Aramis Ramirez" (injuries don't exist in our make-believe world) and - get this - hit the first-ever home run in our whiffleball 'careers' as Mike Fontenot. To make that clear, the first home run that Joe or I ever hit in our current whiffleball situation was by me, batting righthanded. Crazy.
The game went along with only one ball lost in the brush behind home plate until we reached the top of the sixth inning. I had established a 29-26 lead behind some early offense and a strong outing by Ted Lilly. On comes Sean Marshall to close the game...not normally the closer, but nobody wants to see me throw righthanded.
What followed could only be described as horrific - and that would be a kind description. In the sixth inning Joe hit triples 3 of the first 4 at bats, hit a total of 6 triples in the inning, and put up 28 runs. 28. 2-8. He more than doubled his point total in the time it took me to get three more outs. It was awful. I was walking people, but it was mainly just Joe hitting every single thing I threw. I ended up losing 54-32. Just terrible.
At least there was no dog poop this time.