September 2, 2009

Rule 84

Presenting the latest installment in Thomas B. Marlow's series of Rules by Which to Arrange Your Life (we decided holidays are too narrow of a scope for a book deal),

Rule 84: The Proper Arrangement of Restaurant Cream Packets

Not too long ago, I was out to eat with my family. We were a reservation-less party of seven, which led to a Thanksgiving-esque separation of the adults and children. While my parents and grandparents enjoyed a grownup meal, my sister and her boyfriend were treated to the brilliance of Thomas B. Marlow - in this case dealing with cream packets.

The guidelines for cream packet arrangement are quite simple, really. Usually they will be placed in a circular dish, like so:

This is terrible. The haphazard placement is an affront to the proper order of the world. Correctly ordered, a dish should look like this:

Obviously, as you continue to drink coffee your arrangement will have to change - keep it geometric!

  1. The solitary cream packet
  2. Side-by-side
  3. Triangle
  4. Square
  5. Pentagon
  6. Hexagon, center open
  7. Hexagon, center filled
  8. Start stacking a second level or drink some coffee
Edit: It has been pointed out to me that in addition to arranging the packets themselves, I should have also faced them in such a manner so that all the labeling faces the same way. That is correct. I have been out-Thomas Marlowed.

As happens throughout history, genius is not appreciated:

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