After hearing rumors of egg nog sightings at area grocery stores, I finally saw the blessed cartons of deliciousness firsthand last week. This got me thinking about seasonality of eggnog and the calendar of allowable eggnog drinking. After some (careful) thought, Mr. Marlow presents:
Rule 8: The Proper Consumption of Eggnog
Eggnog is described by Wikipedia as a "sweetened dairy-based beverage made with milk, cream, sugar, and beaten eggs... flavoured with ground cinnamon and nutmeg." Families will often have variants of this basic recipe, and the spice used to garnish a glass of egg nog will often range from cinnamon to nutmeg to allspice. John Legend, however, has a strong opinion on the correct spice to use.
As a lifelong drinker of eggnog with cinnamon, I have a bit of a soft spot for that combination. While there may not be a 100% correct recipe for this nectar, there are definite time periods where it should and should not be consumed.
Commercial non-alcoholic eggnog - Thanksgiving to March 1st
Commercial alcoholic eggnog - Thanksgiving to February 1st
Homemade non-alcoholic eggnog - year-round
Homemade alcoholic eggnog - November 1st to March 1st
Explanations (though not necessary) follow.
Homemade eggnog has a longer season because a: the effort that goes into making it should be rewarded and b: it's tough to find the stuff in stores all the time.
Non-alcoholic eggnog has a longer life because at some point, if you want a drink with alcohol in it, there are better options than eggnog. However, sometimes there is just an irresistible urge to have the coma-inducing elixir. I understand that.
It's happening to me right now.
November 5, 2009
November 4, 2009
Lunch
I'm on the road for the job this week, but I don't think the per diem would cover a lunch of this magnitude.
Yeah, you read that right - 47 thousand dollars for 6 people. That is:
my rent for 2009 for one person's lunch.
well over my salary for 2009 for a table's lunch.
...over 3.5 times what Aaron Miles made per hit in 2009? Yuck.
h/t to Serious Eats, Cot's Contracts and The Hardball Times.
Yeah, you read that right - 47 thousand dollars for 6 people. That is:
my rent for 2009 for one person's lunch.
well over my salary for 2009 for a table's lunch.
...over 3.5 times what Aaron Miles made per hit in 2009? Yuck.
h/t to Serious Eats, Cot's Contracts and The Hardball Times.
November 3, 2009
Rule 4: On Going Through Doors
Thomas B. Marlow returns with the latest installment of his Rules of Everyday Life -
Rule 4: On Going Through Doors
When presented with an entryway, there are several factors one must consider before proceeding through one door or another.
Number of doors:
1 - Go through this door. Wait for anybody coming through from the opposite direction, and hold it for anybody following you.
2 - Go through the door to the right.
3 - Go through the door to the right. The middle door should not be used except in the case of fire, or some other emergency that legitimately calls for mass movement. As you pass through the door, silently curse the architect for placing three doors in the passageway.
4 - Go through either of the two doors on the right, but preferably the one farthest to the right.
5 - Seriously? Either of the two doors on the right, again preferring the one farthest to the right. Curse the architect out loud.
6 - Go through any of the three doors on the right, with the outermost doors most preferable.
7 - Do not enter this building.
8 - Go through any of the four doors on the right. Pretend that these doors are numbered 1-4 with the number increasing as you move to the right. The best doors to use are (in order of best to worst) 4,2,3,1.
9+ - Do not enter this building.
General Guidelines -
1. Obviously, the door on the right of the structure are most preferable, but if a stranger is holding a door for you, go through that one. That's right, even if it is on the left. Sometimes, being polite is more important than strict adherence to the rules.* If a friend tries to hold a left door for you, look at them and say, "Hey! NO! We go through the correct door, crazy!"
2. Holding doors for people behind you is recommended. It is mandatory if you can tell the person behind you is pregnant or has an injury (I once saw a friend let a theatre door slam on a girl with a broken leg. She probably doesn't care for Thomas B. Marlow's rules at all.) In the case that there is an able-bodied person far enough behind you so that you'd have to wait a bit holding the door for them, and they don't make an effort to quicken their pace as to reach the door in a more timely fashion, let it go.
3. Do not hold revolving doors. Do not repeatedly go around in revolving doors. Act like you have been in a revolving door before.
*Not always. For example, regarding pie seasonality: adherence to the rules > politeness.
Rule 4: On Going Through Doors
When presented with an entryway, there are several factors one must consider before proceeding through one door or another.
Number of doors:
1 - Go through this door. Wait for anybody coming through from the opposite direction, and hold it for anybody following you.
2 - Go through the door to the right.
3 - Go through the door to the right. The middle door should not be used except in the case of fire, or some other emergency that legitimately calls for mass movement. As you pass through the door, silently curse the architect for placing three doors in the passageway.
4 - Go through either of the two doors on the right, but preferably the one farthest to the right.
5 - Seriously? Either of the two doors on the right, again preferring the one farthest to the right. Curse the architect out loud.
6 - Go through any of the three doors on the right, with the outermost doors most preferable.
7 - Do not enter this building.
8 - Go through any of the four doors on the right. Pretend that these doors are numbered 1-4 with the number increasing as you move to the right. The best doors to use are (in order of best to worst) 4,2,3,1.
9+ - Do not enter this building.
General Guidelines -
1. Obviously, the door on the right of the structure are most preferable, but if a stranger is holding a door for you, go through that one. That's right, even if it is on the left. Sometimes, being polite is more important than strict adherence to the rules.* If a friend tries to hold a left door for you, look at them and say, "Hey! NO! We go through the correct door, crazy!"
2. Holding doors for people behind you is recommended. It is mandatory if you can tell the person behind you is pregnant or has an injury (I once saw a friend let a theatre door slam on a girl with a broken leg. She probably doesn't care for Thomas B. Marlow's rules at all.) In the case that there is an able-bodied person far enough behind you so that you'd have to wait a bit holding the door for them, and they don't make an effort to quicken their pace as to reach the door in a more timely fashion, let it go.
3. Do not hold revolving doors. Do not repeatedly go around in revolving doors. Act like you have been in a revolving door before.
*Not always. For example, regarding pie seasonality: adherence to the rules > politeness.
November 2, 2009
XKCD, getting delicious.
xkcd
If you are a fan of :
Lord of the Rings
Star Wars
Jurassic Park
nerds
sweet graphics
You need to go look at this map of character interaction in movies. Brilliantly done, Munroe.
October 30, 2009
Friday's quick thoughts
Who doesn't want to read about typography? Oh...most of you? Oh. Go here anyway. It's McSweeney's. You'll feel cultured.
When the police officer was inspecting the apartment after the felonius punk stole our stuff (I have to admit, I like the moniker), he swabbed Greg's and my cheek to get a DNA sample. Then he took samples from palm prints on our sliding glass doors...this all happened at 4ish in the morning, of course. The lesson here? Now I'm on the books, and can't commit all of these crimes. Also I don't have a piano anymore.
Best time to be born? Well, without getting too specific, 5:30ish AM, late January in the mid 1980s. Wait, what? A bleaker life outlook? Oh man...
When the police officer was inspecting the apartment after the felonius punk stole our stuff (I have to admit, I like the moniker), he swabbed Greg's and my cheek to get a DNA sample. Then he took samples from palm prints on our sliding glass doors...this all happened at 4ish in the morning, of course. The lesson here? Now I'm on the books, and can't commit all of these crimes. Also I don't have a piano anymore.
Best time to be born? Well, without getting too specific, 5:30ish AM, late January in the mid 1980s. Wait, what? A bleaker life outlook? Oh man...
October 29, 2009
I'm...loving it?
I don't go to McDonald's often, if at all. Sometimes being on the road for the job reduces one's options so drastically that it is hard to avoid...but even if I don't particularly care for Big Macs (or Big Mac), I do enjoy this map of the nation's McDonald's franchises.
Just to be clear, my dislike/hatred of Mark McGwire stems almost entirely from his association with the St. Louis Cardinals. I do not care at all about any of his methods for enhancing his baseball production - everybody involved profited from the home run race...except Steve Trachsel. No, Mark McGwire is terrible purely because he 1. was a Cardinal. 2. is a ginger. and 3. obnoxiously threw his bat after all of his stupid homeruns.
Just to be clear, my dislike/hatred of Mark McGwire stems almost entirely from his association with the St. Louis Cardinals. I do not care at all about any of his methods for enhancing his baseball production - everybody involved profited from the home run race...except Steve Trachsel. No, Mark McGwire is terrible purely because he 1. was a Cardinal. 2. is a ginger. and 3. obnoxiously threw his bat after all of his stupid homeruns.
October 28, 2009
To A Rich Benefactor
Returning from a Common Swift gig in Kenosha on the night of September 26th, I discovered my apartment had been entered and burgled. At first, I thought that Greg's dog Lucy had just gotten rambunctious and overturned the couch cushions, but it quickly became clear that she couldn't have done the same to my clothes dresser...and with her amusingly large paws, I can't imagine that she'd find a lot of value in taking two of Greg's laptops and my keyboard. That's right - for the first time since birth, there is no piano in my house.
(On a side note, my old roommate Mike Schroeder has described the burglar as "Felonious Punk" - I had asked who steals a piano. He is a sick man.)
It's become clear over the last month that I can't go too much longer without some form of piano - I've been on the road doing archaeology the last three weeks, which minimizes the loss somewhat, but more and more often I've been getting a quick urge to play something. It usually takes 2-3 seconds before I remember that all I have is a piano bench and a music stand.
If anybody found $30,000 on the sidewalk and wants to help me out, go read this article. Then give that money to a responsible charity or something.
But seriously - that piano sounds amazing. Dear Santa...
(On a side note, my old roommate Mike Schroeder has described the burglar as "Felonious Punk" - I had asked who steals a piano. He is a sick man.)
It's become clear over the last month that I can't go too much longer without some form of piano - I've been on the road doing archaeology the last three weeks, which minimizes the loss somewhat, but more and more often I've been getting a quick urge to play something. It usually takes 2-3 seconds before I remember that all I have is a piano bench and a music stand.
If anybody found $30,000 on the sidewalk and wants to help me out, go read this article. Then give that money to a responsible charity or something.
But seriously - that piano sounds amazing. Dear Santa...
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