Beards Galore

According to this graphic detailing the trustworthiness of bears, I range from Threatening at best to Dangerous at worst. It's unsettling news, to be sure.

I have three defenses:

1. 'Neck Beard' is what results when I trim my normal beard, but am too lazy to get the real razor and actually shave.

2. 'Patchy Beard' is what happens when I am too lazy to even trim my facial hair; my face has basically decided to grow hair in only non-traditional areas plus a mustache.

3. My beards, however non-trustworthy, are preferable to my clean-shaven face?